Oswald Reviews: A Troll in Central Park

Oh. My. Oswald. I can’t believe it. There is a movie worse than Felix the Cat. I can’t believe this is possible. Watching this movie makes me feel like punching all the trolls in the world in the face. Even the internet ones!

Dear god, Don Bluth! You created some of the most celebrated animated films in the world. You made two of my favorite animated films “The Land Before Time” and “An American Tail”! But when did you get reduced to this?

This is possibly the WORST ANIMATED FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! And that’s saying a lot, people.

So what makes me so mad about this load of Oswald Droppings? Let’s find out! This is…

“A Troll in Central Park”

So this movie is the story of Stanley the Troll. He lives in the Troll Kingdom, which is under rule by Queen Gnorga (and yes, that is her name). For some reason, she doesn’t like flowers. I guess she doesn’t like the smell or something.

But what do you know! Stanley seems to have a butt load of them. That’s because he has a magical green thumb that can make plants grow. Again, I have no idea.

But the main problem with this part is the fact that no one notices this. Stanley has a fridging garden for a house! You’d think they’d notice it by now! How dumb are they?

Well, I wouldn’t be surprised because if you said stuff like, “I’M A BAD TWOLL! A VERY BAD TWOLL!” on a regular basis I would expect you to have a brain as small as pocket lint.

Finally the trolls figure out that Stanley is hiding flowers in his home. So the queen banishes him to a place with no greenery whatsoever. Central Park. What?

Sure, New York doesn’t have a lot of trees, but Central Park? I’m not sure the trolls have ever been outside their kingdom. Because clearly they have never seen what Central Park looks like.

So then we cut to a couple of kids who somehow have British parents even when they themselves have American accents. The little boy goes on and on about doing whatever he wants. Blah blah blah.

So the kids meet Stanley, a bunch of flowers randomly start to dance and Gnorga finds out Stanley’s totally fine. So she goes out to kill him. Then some crazy stuff happens and a totally unrelated moral is shoved down our throats. “Believe in yourself!” “Follow your Dreams!” “Make random flowers dance with your magic green thumb!”

Then Gnorga finds Stanley and turns him to stone. The kids bring him home and the little boy asks if he can do what he wants to do. And what is that? Bring Stanley back to life. That’s right kids! If you just tell your parents that a magical, flower growing troll has been turned to stone, you can do whatever you want! That’s the moral of this story!

So the little boy touches Stanley with the magic finger he now suddenly has and Stanley comes back to life to enslave all of humanity with plant life. Okay, that’s not really what happened. But if someone showed you the last shot of the movie, you’d believe that was true.

And that’s “A Troll in Central Park”. What do I think of it? I hate it. Truly, I do.

The plot, if you could call it one, is confusing. The characters are two dimensional and bland. The animation is nothing but things bouncing and smiling. And the moral is as confused as Mr. Magoo (which might be something worth reviewng later on).

In conclusion, this movie us downright terrible. It makes no sense and is completely and utterly terrible. I give it a 2/10.

And until next time, See you later, animators!

2 thoughts on “Oswald Reviews: A Troll in Central Park

    • To be totally honest, I didn’t watch it all in one sitting. I stopped in the middle because I couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculously bad is was. I especially loved “I’M A BAD TWOLL!” It made me laugh for such a long time!

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